The Empress' new clothes.

Let's see, John Edwards' $400 haircuts were "scandalous" to the reichwing of the KKKRepublican Partei and bHUSSEINobama's an uppitylitist. So, in an attempt to assuage the fears of Joe Six-Pack (no relation to Tupac Shakur--I can assure you) and Joe DePlumber that their candidate for the Vice Presiduncy is out of touch with the "common man" the GOP decides that it's not a good thing that Sarah Palin is a bit couture challenged, while Cindy McCain looks like a runway model (now I didn't say she had done a Kate Moss and become a junkie, did I? Prove it, I dare ya!). So, they sent a note to Mrs. McCain (2) to tone down her appearance and leave the pearls in the dresser drawer (right next to her "Lady Glock" Model 26, 9mm semi-auto--and to start wearing one of these (http://www.zazzle.com/pink_gun_lady_glock_shirt-235151653112786202). They did that, right? Oh, nos!!, they didn't. Instead, they sent Sarah to the clothing department at Neiman Marcus and Saks where she spent about $125K on a few nice things. Well, once she was Sarah, "Plain and simple"; now? She's still simple, but not so plain. No word on whether she got a few goodies from Victoria's State Secrets. In the same account where Sarah's clothing bill was discussed (http://www.usnews.com/articles/news/2008/10/22/blog-buzz-sarah-palins-150000-rnc-shopping-spree-barack-obama-and-john-mccain-release-dueling-robocalls-al-qaeda-website-endorses-mccain.html) there was word the RNC also shelled out over $8,000 for John McCain's makeup artist (those necrocosmetologists do not work on the cheap--I'm sure the DorkLordCheney loaned McStain his rolodex for that one). It would appear that "lipstick on a pig" has gotten somewhat expensive. Okay, so you know what I meant, right? You know that I was dissing the "Cariboob™©®" and not the Extinguished Senaturd from Aritwilightzone? Yeah, so, sue me. Hey, I'm not even a republican and I wear plain cloth coats and pants and hats. They may be a little threadbare and frayed around the edges but I'm an American (cue patriotic music and flag waving--from a cruciform flagpole--over amber fields of grain, covering nu-Q-lar missile silos) and damn it, I have smallminded values just like Sarah and JohnnyPOW's supporters.