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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Wall street gets drunk, we get the hangover

And a bright "good morning" to all! I have been puzzling over the claim by Bushco apparatchik Henry Paulson that not making a quick, uninformed decision about the $750,000,000,000 welfare program for the downtrodden CEO's of Wall Street. See, I don't got me no degree in economics or finance or nuttin, so I can't begin to see how badly we're really being fucked if this thing goes through. What I can do is google and I'm half decent with numbers, so.... $1M in "Benjamins" = the following: Total area: 103.389471 square meters Total weight: According to the U.S. Treasury, "In $100 bills, the weight of $1million is about 22 pounds." [that's 10 kg.] Total height: Stacked singly, 48.82 inches high. Total length: Laid end to end, 5083.333... feet long. So, here are the figures for Bushco's Golden Airborne Division bailout. Total area: 77,542,103.25 square meters or 29.939173442746206 square miles (for purposes of comparison, Manhattan's total land area is 22.96 sq mi.) Total weight: 7,500 metric tons or, 8267.334... Tons-short Total height: Stacked singly, 577.888... miles high. Total length: Laid end to end, 722,064.346... miles long More fun facts: If we go for this Ponzi scheme, and take out a "home impoverishment loan" we can look at the following schedule. Loan amount: $ 750,000,000,000.00 Loan term : 30 Years Interest rate: 5.750% (We ARE well qualified buyers) Monthly Payment: $ 4,376,796,423.33 a month Totals--Principal: $ 750,000,000,000.00 Interest: $ 825,646,712,398.80 Grand Total: $ 1,575,646,712,398.80 (you can forget about the .80; just round it down.) Dividing this figure by 150,000,000 taxpayers (an arbitrary number; I just plucked it out of the air, unlike Mr. Paulson) I come up with a per capita number of, let's see $ 10,504.31 or about $29.18 per month. Why, it's just like a "Christmas Club savings account. The CEO's get to open their gifts for the next 30 years, we get the bill! And this will secure my future? how? The good news for me is that there's little or no chance I'll be paying for the whole term of the note--I'm 58. I don't know about you folks, but I don't want to get asked over for dinner and then get stuck with paying for the house.

2 comments:

No Blood for Hubris said...

Muchos benjaminos. Muchos.

Dave von Ebers said...

Hey Demo ... alls I want is a pound of twenties. Is that too much to ask?