Sunday, August 23, 2009

A new Jason Appuzzo film in the works.

What should be in the works is a new Star Trek movie where they go back in time to the mid-21st century where The United State of Godmerica is waging endless war against the Islamosecularists and surviving on Soylent Grayishbrown (having finally settled both the illegal immigration and care for the aging problems--um, hmmm--tastes just like chicken!) to do battle with the Baseborg. I have a great idea for the "deafers" too. They can have this really cool video where a granny, surrounded by her loving family is getting ready to blow out the candles on a birfday cake, while a hearse glides silently up to the curb--a hearse with the logo of the Dept. of Health and Human Services/FDA, Soylent Green Division. We see granny, a surprisingly spry looking 80 year old, with a nice rack, nary a wrinkle and no glasses, preparing to blow out her candles--all 80 of them, by herself. In the background "Happy Birthday" plays; and then, strangely, it morphs into Mozart's Requiem ( We watch in horror as the whitecoated, jackbooted thugs of the SEC (State Eugenics Collective) use a battering ram to gain entry and start to drag the "surprisingly spry granny" (that will be ad copy for the trailer) towards the yawning maw of their shining, black BFI/Deathstar 666, Mark 2 combination ex-sanguinator, eviscerator, compactor and mulcher. We are resigned to defeat; but, wait! The dining room table suddenly rises from the floor to reveal Numchuck Norris in his best "Braddock" headband with his trusty belt-fed M-60 machine gun(call him old fashioned, he goes with what works), dealing death and scowls with equal effect. At this moment, the rest of the family deploy a virtual arsenal of weaponry, ranging from a flintlock rifle to a shoulder launched Stinger missile and annihilate the anti-KKKristian merchants of death as the sound track once again changes to a medley of "Stayin' Alive", "The Electric Slide" and "God Bless th USA". As the dying "Angels of Death" bleed out on the lawn, and their vehicle blazes in the background, granny gathers her brood and says with a smile, "THANK GOD, we clobbered those bastards. Let's go eat some cake." And her grandson says, in pop-eyed wonderment, "Gee, gran, do you think you can blow out the hearse after you do the candles?". Much laughter ensues. I've updated my "deafers" slogan: "You can have my self-determination when you can pry it from my cold, dead--because of being denied coverage/necessary procedures--fingers."


Joe Visionary said...

I'm thinking you may want to include a hulking type anti-hero so that Cal. Governor Arnie could flex his pecs just one more time...

... also, the financing may come considerably easier ...

Southern Beale said...

Ha! Hilarious.

The only thing lacking is the requisite "Red Dawn" reference. Power Booth making a surly quip, "shoot straight you Army pukes" and stuff like that.

Speaking of, they are remaking Red Dawn for a 2010 release. You know, why mess with perfection? [/snark]

Red Dawn = wingnut porn.

Bukko_in_Australia said...

When I run across a 2nd Amendment arsehole online (luckily, they dopn't exist down here) who's ranting about how "we" need guns to protect ourselves from government oppression, I always ask 'em: "Who are you gonna shoot first?"

Will it be the Postman? That's a government agent who comes to your door six days a week and fiddles with your mail. You gonna go down to your Congressman's local office and shoot the woman who answers the phones? Is your big, bad 9 mm pistol going to ward oof the squad of Blackwater ex-Marines who come to implement the oppression?

It's going to be the local cop who serves the arrest warrant to "bring you in for questioning" if you do something to irritate the powers-that-be. You going to shoot him or her when they show up at the door? Will that settle it? You'll kill one person working for The Man and they'll never bother you again?

I never get any answer, of course. There is no answer. There's just stupidity.

democommie said...

Southern Beale:

Thanks for stopping by. Yes, "Red Dawn" is Reichwinger porn; that's the second such reference I've seen in the last 24 hours.

I wonder if the remake will feature mosques amd Imams.

Bukko in Australia:

You, sir, are correct. One of Southrn Beale's commenter's answer, when I said that many things we take for granted are made possible by government regulation and others are actually taken care of by government, was that government doesn't MAKE anything. I asked him if his town had private police, fire, water, public health and public works departments. I've not seen his answer.

Anne Johnson said...

LOL! Loves it.

democommie said...

Well, I'm glad to see that fantasy is acceptable. Perhaps I should be looking for a job as a fact checker for the GOP or their propaganda arm, FoxNews.

Dave von Ebers said...

Hey, Demo … totally off topic, but everybody’s favorite douche-nozzle, Aaron Kinney, has reared his ugly head over at the General’s place. Have at him, man.